Losing... and princes

We had a fantastic time together this past weekend as we celebrated Mother's Day together.  After Jason loved on my mom by chopping up firewood at the camper, we enjoyed Sunday with just the five of us together.  My two favorite quotes of the day were from Ethan and McKinley.  Ethan thanked me in his card "for not losing him".  I never realized that he considered this as something I could potentially be bad at, but instead is thankful that I'm good at.  :)

McKinley's cuteness came out as we did our Bible reading before bed.  We listened to Psalm 8 and then Jason and I uncharacteristically began singing the song, "Oh, Lord our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth..."  We got to the line that says, "Prince of Peace, mighty God" and McKinley just started giggling.  "Prince of Peas??," she said with a look like we were crazy.  So sweet.  Well, He is the God of everything, so I guess He is the Prince of Peas, too.

Sometimes you just need a break...

Apparently, I was in need of a break from writing.  It's been over two years since my last post.  There is so much to remember of our adventures in that time, but for now, let it suffice to say that I think I'm returning to one of my favorite hobbies:  writing about times with my favorite people.  Our first year of school together is coming to a close, and as you write and read during the day, I will be writing and reading, too.  How fun!!  Hoping to redeem the time and catch up on some of my favorite memories.  I'm realizing that new favorites are being created daily and there is no way I will remember them all.  So, here's to a fresh start!

McKinley Says...

McKinley, you just make me laugh more & more lately.  Yesterday on our way to Martinsville to see JoJo, you asked why the school buses were driving down the interstate backward.  Apparently due to their flat fronts, you felt like they were going in the wrong direction.   Then on our way out of JoJo's apartment building, you started a question with the words I'm sort of starting to dread... Mommy, why is that boy...  A very cute thing to note here is that you refer to all males as "boys", regardless of age, which makes the older men really smile.  Mommy, why is that boy driving his motorcyle down the hallway?  This happened to be another instance when the boy had to be at least 70 years old and was riding in his motorized cart to the elevator.  We all enjoyed a good laugh and you undoubtedly gave him a story to tell later on.  :)

Happy 5th Birthday, Elissa!

Wow!!  This year has been so wonderful with you, Elissa.  Big things have happened.  You are blossoming into this little young lady who thinks about the world in ways that challenge me to think more compassionately at times or just to pause and enjoy the beauty God places before us.  There are many times you will suggest ways to bless other people by doing kind things for them.  And the way you say, "It's so beautiful," just melts my heart.  It continues to be a huge privilege to be your mommy, and I have this sad feeling that this might be one of my last few years of getting to have that sweet title before it's cut short to just Mom.  I'll enjoy every minute of it while it lasts.

The most exciting event of your past year came at an unplanned, unexpected bathtime actually.  We sing the Gospel Fuzzies song at Cubbies each week at church.  A friend mentioned to me that she had talked through that song and its meaning with her daughter who's a little younger than you.  It hit me that while we read the Bible and pray most every day together, Daddy and I haven't asked you if you want to believe in Jesus.  So during that sweet bath time with your brother and sister listening, I simply began asking you if you had thought about the Gospel Fuzzies song before.

It starts with, "gold stands for heaven where I want to go."  From what we've learned about heaven in the Bible, Elissa, does it sound like a place you want to go?  It's where God is and where you get to live forever and ever after you're done living on earth.  You get to spend forever with God there.  Do you want to go to heaven?  You responded with a quick yes, as I pretty much expected.  The next color could be a bit trickier, but I proceeded as I prayed that Jesus would speak truth to your heart.  Ok, Elissa, but you know that dark is next, and it means we're sinners.  That means we don't do what God wants us to do, but we do what we want to do.  A few of those are God's big 10 rules we've talked about.  Don't lie.  Honor Mommy and Daddy.  Remember God is perfect and the only way we could be with Him would be if we were perfect.  Do you think you sin, Elissa?  Without hesitation you agreed that you do and then gave me some examples, like when you're mean to your siblings or don't obey right away.

I have to admit that at this point, I was starting to believe that maybe you did understand this better than I thought you did.  Because I didn't become a Christian until I was much older, it's always been hard for me to understand the authenticity of people who say they were saved when they were four or five years old.  I suddenly felt like I was catching a glimpse of what this childlike faith was all about.  God didn't make it complicated.  We make it complicated.  So we moved on.   

Ok, well then red comes next and means that Jesus died and He rose again.  God loved you so much, Elissa, that He sent His son, Jesus, to live a perfect life since we can't do that.  Because Jesus was perfect, He could die on the cross for your sins.  And He did!  But the best part was that He rose again.  He didn't stay dead.  And He's alive now and waiting for you in heaven.  Does that make sense to you?  Do you believe that?  Again, you responded very quickly that yes, you knew that Jesus was God's son and He died on the cross for your sins and He rose again, adding that it was on the third day.  You definitely know your Bible, sweet girl.  Trusting that God is using His word to teach you and call you, I moved on, getting pretty excited myself by now.   

Well, that leads to clean, and that means you're forgiven if you trust in Him.  Elissa, if you decide to live for Jesus and the way He wants you to live and to live to make Him look good and not just yourself... if you make the choice to trust Him, well, then you are forgiven.  You are clean.  God will look at you and not see your sin, but instead it's like Jesus is standing in front of you and all the ways He was good and great and perfect, that's how God sees Elissa.  You insisted I keep going and that you knew that you could trust in God, especially when you were afraid.  This didn't surprise me, because since you were two or three we've prayed in the middle of the night together so that you wouldn't be fearful of bad dreams or other things that were frightening to you.  So finally, on we went to the last color.

Well, that just leaves green for growing when we follow Him.  If you tell God all the things you just told me, and you are forgiven, then you will grow.  Do you remember the song that tells us how to grow, grow, grow?  You sang with me the song Read Your Bible, Pray Every Day.  That's right!  We read the Bible and we pray, and we get to know God more and learn how to love Him more and He'll change our hearts every day if we let Him.  He will always show us new ways to grow if we're willing to ask Him. And the best way to know how to live and grow is to live how Jesus lived.  Do you think you could live to be more like Jesus every day?  In your sweet little voice, you assured me that you want to be just like Jesus.

Oh, Elissa.  It was such a simple little moment in our simple little four-walled bathroom.  And yet, I knew it was life-changing.  I asked you to pray with me through the things we just talked about.  I repeated the colors, since you were familiar with those lines and prayed to God thanking Him that He is perfect and is in heaven, confessing that I am a sinner and have no right to be with Him, rejoicing that He sent Jesus to die on the cross for my sin and be raised again so I could live a totally different, new life with Him, and thanking Him that He forgives us and helps us grow.  You wanted me to pray a line or two and then you said you would pray and we leap-frogged our way along.  The amazing part though was that you didn't just repeat what I said.  You completely thought about what I said, and then said it yourself in your own words and talked straight to God.  It saddens me to admit this, Elissa, but you are the first person Mommy has ever prayed this prayer with.  So, thank you, sweet girl.  It was an honor and it has made me realize that it's not that scary or complicated to explain Jesus to someone.  I definitely believe that there are fruits of the Spirit in your life, which is awesome to see.  I also believe that this is just a start of something great that God will continue to work out throughout your days.  And I believe His promise that He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it.  So, YAY!!  :-)

Whew.  That took up a lot of space, but I suppose it's worth it all.  I am hoping to be a better writer for you this year, so that there isn't so much to include in a year's summary on your next birthday.  Here's a rapid-fire of many of the other amazing things I've enjoyed with you this year.

• You can count and read numbers really well.  You seem to have inherited your Mommy's & Daddy's math brains.  My favorite counting quote came from the backseat of the car a few months ago.  You kept asking me how to make 6 on my fingers.  I held up my hands with 5 on one and 1 on the other.  You just kept asking.  Finally, you said, No, Mommy.  I need 6 on one hand so I can add 6 + 3.  We enjoyed a good laugh as I taught you how to start with 6 and then add 3.
• You're learning how to sound out words and can read more than I realized.  You are constantly telling me what letter words begin with and asking how to spell things so that you can write them down in your notebooks.  You have this great higher-level thinking thing going on already, too.  When I gave you the camera to take pictures around the house of things that start with the letter M, you put a little picnic together on the floor with your play food and said, Look, Mommy.  Meal starts with M.  Why yes it does.
• You continue to love to dance.  You've been back in dance class with Miss April the past few months and I can see growth in what you're learning.  Daddy and I are so excited to see your final class and be surprised with what you all are planning for the end of the year performance.  You've been a really helpful big sister, too, and have been trying to teach McKinley how to dance.  She's eager to learn, and I can already imagine the two of you gracefully dancing together soon.
• You've been really excited to be a nighttime resident of a bunk bed since Christmas.  You seem to think it's your own little world up there.  I always wanted one when I was little, so it's fun to watch you enjoy it so much.
• You are very creative.  Arts and crafts are one of your favorite things right now.  You like to make jewelry and draw pictures with patterns and colors and shapes.  It's fun to see your personality be well rounded as you make really structured sort of designs and then flip and do something really abstract and creative.  Balance in your personality is cool to see.
• You are tough.  For your yearly checkup at the doctor, you had to get 4 shots.  You were so brave.  No tears.  Amazing!  And a few days afterward, you said, Mommy, since I got my four shots and it just hurt for a minute, I think I can get my ears pierced now.  A few nights later we went as a family and there were a few tears, but only for a minute.  The smiles above quickly followed.  McKinley enjoyed her sympathy sucker, but said she's not getting her ears pierced even when she's 5 years old.  :-)
• You are a really great big sister, Elissa.  Ethan and McKinley watch you and learn from you and adore you, really.  Recently you've been making sacrifices when they want something you have or if there is a limited number of something.  You just gave up your favorite applesauce this weekend.  And you do it with such a content heart.  It's just beautiful to watch.

Well, sweet pea, there will be more to come.  You fill each day with joy for your daddy and me.  Thanks for making me laugh, loving me as one of your favorite people, and helping me know Jesus more through your innocent faith.  Praying you  know Him more and love Him as much as your little heart and mind know how.  All my love, Mommy

Happy 3rd Birthday, McKinley!

We've been so busy this summer having fun with you, our big girl.  You have changed and grown and learned to try so many new things... riding your bike, swinging "way up high to the sky", and climbing tall playsets to name a few.  And to each new activity you add your own sense of McKinley sweetness.

Many people, myself included, mistake you for Elissa these days.  The two of you really enjoy playing together and doing many of the same things so it's easy to get you confused from across the room.  However, you have your very own personality that seems to look at life differently than a lot of people.  God has given you a wonderful love for all things living:  people, plants, animals... all of His creation.  You give hugs and kisses, even to the not-so-kissable things!  Kindness just pours out of your heart.  I definitely believe these are the first glimpses of the gift of hospitality that God has given to you.  People instantly feel warm and welcomed in your little presence.

You have a love for singing and your collection of songs is growing.  Your favorites this week are the Butterfly Song, the B-I-B-L-E, and the ABC song.  Unlike your Mommy and Daddy, we think you might have a great singing voice as you grow older.  I'm praying that you will seek to use it to sing beautiful songs for Jesus and to encourage others.  And like your sister, you love to dance.  The two of you put on shows for me all the time, and you love to put on a pretty dress or ballet outfit before you begin.  This is just one of the signs of the very feminine spirit you have.

Even your little gait is carefree and graceful, more than athletic.  You are surprising us, though, with the way you've started enjoying being active more this year.  When you decided you were ready,  you showed what a great bike rider you are.  You jumped in the pool without holding our hands by the end of summer, and you climb right alongside Ethan these days.  This has been a good lesson for me to always be looking for ways you're growing and changing and not just define you by your past likes and dislikes.

I love you, McKinley.  You're a little girl so full of compassion, increasing courage, and a sense for adventure.  You teach me how to be more people-oriented and care less about my to-do list.  I'll try to keep teaching you how to eventually get that list done, and we might just end up being well-rounded together!  I look forward to seeing how God continues to show me more of who He's created you to be, so that I can help build that firm foundation under your feet for the awesome steps ahead.  Love, Mommy

Happy 3rd Birthday, Ethan!

Where did the last year go?  And where did my baby boy go?  I'm not sure exactly, but they seem to have both disappeared overnight.

Ethan, you continue to be the neatest boy I know.  You have this perfect combination of enthusiasm and energy balanced with tenderness and compassion.  You rarely sit still, but so much of that movement is used to love on others.  If I need help with anything, you are the first to run to my side, regardless of what you might be in the middle of enjoying.  I pray that you keep hold of that other-centeredness that God's gifted to you. 

You are a strong and powerful boy already and we've had talks about why God has given you such strength -- for His glory and to help others.  Daddy and I see this in the way you love your sisters, and we're so proud of you.  You already have a sense of protection over them.  It's adorable.  Having never had a big brother growing up, I love imagining the way you will encourage and watch over them as you get older in the way only a good brother can.

Ethan, God has also given you a love for His word.  We read the Bible before bed, and you refuse to skip a night.  You listen closely and often repeat things that you find interesting.  We started memorizing some verses as a family, and you quickly and easily memorized Psalm 1.  I recorded all of you kids reciting it for Daddy for Father's Day, because it's precious.  I pray that you will continue to grow in your love for knowing the Bible.  God will use it in mighty ways to shape you and form you into the boy and man He wants you to be.

You love all of your family, and have a special affection for Uncle Joel right now.  My favorite quote of yours was when you said that when you grow up "you want to be a Joel", as if that was an easily defined profession.  Uncle Joel plays football with you and lets you tackle him, which you're getting very good at doing.  He moved to Dallas recently and you talk about him a lot and seem to miss him, which is sweet.  Many days as you play, you inform me that I have to call you Joel, not Ethan.  It's pretty funny because I don't actually talk to Uncle Joel nearly as much as I talk to you, so when I'm saying "Joel" all day it makes me laugh.  You make me laugh a lot, actually.  You have an awesome sense of humor that exudes joy from within.  People pick up on your joy almost immediately and comment on it often.

I love you, buddy.  Being your mommy is one of the greatest privileges of my life.  I pray often that the training and love you receive from me will grow you to be more like Jesus and help lead you down the path He has for you.  And whatever I do that isn't in His plan will stay out of the way.  I know God has great plans for you.  I pray that you follow Him and trust Him and see all that He has in store for you.  Love, Mommy

The Fun Mom

Mommy, I can go with Mamaw and Julie to Walmart and you can stay here ...  Well, Elissa, I'm going to go with you, too ... Well, Mommy, you can go buy the food, and Mamaw & Julie & me can go buy the other stuff ... We'll all be together, Elissa ...  Mommy, I just want Mamaw & Julie time...

I've heard about it enough times to expect that when my children become older they aren't going to choose me; they're not going to want to be with me, but instead with other people, with friends.  I wasn't quite ready to expect it this soon, though.  Several months ago, I heard about Elissa's grand entrance as she arrived at Joe & Robin's house for a weekend stay.  She ran in the door and with great excitement proclaimed, I'm here, Papa Joe!  And Mommy's not with me!  I laughed about it, but thought to myself that one day she'll be excited about not being with me in a way that might not make me chuckle but maybe cry.  Somehow during those tumultuous teenage years even the best of kids seem to say hurtful things to their parents without realizing the punch their words pack.  I regret doing it to my mom, who in no way deserved what I said those few times.

So back to my sweet, four-year-old daughter who obviously did not want me at the store with her... I know that trips to the store with Julie & Robin are fun.  They always come home with treats and toys that I would not buy, but am happy for them to enjoy at Mamaw's house.  To try to understand what Elissa was thinking would make the trip less fun with me there, I asked a few questions.  Elissa, what do you think you want to do that you can't do if Mommy's with you? ... What do you do at the store with Mamaw & Julie that you don't do with Mommy? ... And then I tried to use it as a teaching moment about life living up to our expectations.  I explained that if she woke up in the morning and said, "This is going to be the best day ever!", then the chances were much more likely that it would be a good day.  But if she woke up and decided that "This is the most horrible, no good, awful day ever," then it would probably be a bad day.  Translating that into our quickly approaching shopping trip, I told her that if she thought it would be no fun with Mommy there, then she would probably be right.  But if she decided to try to have as much fun as possible with Mommy there, then she would probably have a good time.

I had a short time to process through this idea before we left for the store.  I decided that if I truly wanted her to think that having me at the store would be fun, then I needed to act like a fun mom.  Sort of re-telling myself what I had just told her.  Test #1 was as soon as we got in the car.  She wanted the windows down, even though it was really warm and the air conditioning was on.  Robin put her window down as I bit my tongue.  Already Elissa was noticing the difference in my usual control of the situation.  As we walked into the store, she said, This is much more fun than I thought it would be.  Ha!  She hasn't seen anything yet, I thought.

Test #2 occurred in the entryway to the store.  Elissa wanted the fun cart that had the double seat to sit in.  I usually think that she's an able-bodied kid with lots of energy who could just walk with me.  Robin & Julie smiled and got the cart while I again bit my tongue.  Test #3-8 or so happened as we walked up and down the aisles and she asked for special (unnecessary) food or small toys to add to the collection.  It was getting easier and easier for me to just say, Whatever Mamaw wants to do; she's buying.  And it only took a few times of this for Elissa to realize that she could work this system.  Finally, Mamaw decided that she'd better say "No" to a request before our sweet little Elissa got out of control.

Admittedly, we were all intentionally playing our own sort of game that night.  I was going to become fun in my daughter's eyes.  Robin was going to stay fun in her grandchild's eyes.  Elissa was going to have the most fun she'd ever had at the store, apparently.  Julie was... well, Julie is always fun.  She was just laughing at us all, probably already visualizing the quickly-approaching days when her son goes through this process.  Obviously, living life to be considered fun by my child is not my goal, nor would it turn out children of character and virtue.  But there was a real lesson there for me. 

At the right times, I should let down my guard a bit.  I'm reading an AMAZING book called  Loving the Little Years, by Rachel Jankovic.  Every chapter though only a few pages long is packed full of insights into being a godly and loving mother during these years in the trenches of mothering toddlers.  She wrote that children should not have to give up enjoying life the way God's made them to enjoy it simply because I don't want a dirty kitchen floor from flour, or the sometimes messy placemats after finger painting, or for us to appear less than well put together everywhere we go.  This was so awakening for me to realize.  I am that woman.  I encourage our kids to have fun and try new things and love all the awesome opportunities that God has given... but only in so much as it does not infringe upon my efficient running of our home.    Yuck.

So, now with the help of my precious Jesus through prayer, I am starting to see life in our home in a whole new light.  God has gifted my children with creativity and the desire to be with me (believe it or not!) when I'm doing chores around the house.  I need to be soaking up this time with them and allowing their sweet spirits to know that they -- the people in our home -- are the most important part of our home.  So if you drop by sometime and catch us before we've gotten around to cleaning up our newly discovered fun messes, you might get crumbs on your feet or put your hand down on a sticky table.  But my prayer is that you will also find children who know that Mommy loves them and wants to see them grow in all the talents God has given them, to His glory.  And hopefully when Elissa's a teenager and shopping a lot more than she does now, she'll invite me along for the fun.

Like Father, Like Son

Man, he looks just like Jason... You've got a little mini-me of Jason there, don't you?... I can't look at him without seeing Jason all over...

I've never been one who's good at telling which parent newborns resemble.  I'm getting better at  it with older kids, but with my own the only way I can see a likeness to either me or Jason is to pull out our childhood photos.  I wish I could see Jason in Ethan as much as everyone else does.  Seeing my favorite guy in my second favorite guy would just be awesome.  Since I lack this skill right now, I've thoroughly enjoyed getting to watch Jason's character shine through Ethan as he develops and changes.

Jason's diligence and contagious laughter and strong, yet gentle hands... they're shining through our little boy.  And I love it!  Ethan adores his daddy and wants to be just like him.  With this knowledge, I should have been more quick to follow my grandma's advice when I shared my worries about Ethan's complete dislike of anything potty related.  Grandma told me, "You have Ethan start going to the bathroom with his daddy.  When he watches his daddy use the bathroom, he'll want to start doing it too.  Ethan'll want to be like his daddy."  Ok, confession time.  There have been times in the past when my grandma gives me advice and I make the unfortunate mistake of thinking that things have changed so much from the past and that surely there are better, more researched ways of doing things these days.  This was another one of those times.

Grandma was right about this one.  Last Saturday our only plans for the day were to spend as much time as we could moving the mulch from the "mountain" to the landscaping around the front of the house.  Ethan and Elissa quickly showed their interest and aptitude for conquering the mountain with their bikes and riding down.  At first, this scared me because they seem so little and the pile seemed so big, but they proved themselves quite capable.  Definitely their father's genes.

So, prior to Saturday Ethan screamed "NO!" when asked if he wanted to wear underwear.  Early Saturday morning, I heard Jason explaining to Ethan that today was the day.  Today he would start wearing underwear.  Jason took the lead on this one and I just enjoyed watching the process.  Ethan was resistant to the idea, but Jason persisted and by noon we had dry pants and many successes on the potty.  How exciting!  From now on, Daddy's in charge of motivating our little boy.  Plus, it's awesome to see a father's pride as his son seeks his likeness.


And as of this week, this is our favorite new friend.  We lovingly call him the Froggy Potty.  Ethan loves sitting on the little guy, and because Froggy's eyes are raised so high the spray stays nicely inside the potty.  This equals a very happy mommy.  I've been contemplating asking Fisher Price for commission on the product, because I've told so many moms of boys about it.  :)  The highlight of my week as a result of all of this was going to the grocery store.  I told my mom that it was very exciting to not buy diapers this week.  She pointed out that it's the first week in 4 years and 2 months that I have not purchased diapers.  Wow.  Truly the end of a season.

I Promise, It's the Truth

What's your favorite holiday?.... Well, after Christmas and Easter, I choose April Fool's Day! ... What?

I could be wrong, but I don't think many people would choose today as one that brings sweet memories pouring in from the past.  As of 2008, though, that's exactly what this day has become for us.

Elissa and I had our normal routine that morning of breakfast and playtime.  She was almost 14 months old and was about to spend some time with my mom while I ran out to a doctor's appointment.  I had an 18-week check up during my second pregnancy that day.  April 1, 2008.  I hadn't really even thought about the date, but was excited to go hear the baby's heart beat and make sure things were going well.  I had spent Spring Break the week before in Florida and had the stomach flu, which included gloriously vomiting on the beach.  Yuck.  Jason had talked me into going on a run with him, Julie, and Justin.  I had no energy and felt pretty gross when finished.  And just over all, I was feeling not so great, and hoping that everything was fine with the baby.

Dr. Matekevich came in with her usual upbeat attitude and asked how I was doing.  After a short discussion, she said, "Well, lets take a look and listen to the baby."  I lied down and she pulled out the tape measure to check the baby's growth.  She sort of paused, and measured again as she pushed around on my stomach.  Then she said, "Wow.  You're big."  I know I've been gaining weight faster than I did with Elissa, but people say that happens with the second pregnancy... I think that's an insensitive way for you to tell me I need to back off on the food, though.  I responded, "I'm sorry.  I guess I must be eating too much."  She said, "No.  You're measuring big.  Like we're a month off on your due date, or there's more than one baby in there."

You know those moments when your brain sort of sticks?  That's what happened to mine. I muttered, "You're kidding, right?" because we were pretty sure about the due date.  She was smiling from ear to ear and said, "I'll be right back.  I want to see if we can pop into the ultrasound room and get a head count."  And away she went.

What?  A head count?  How many could possibly be in there?  No wonder I've gained more weight.  Oh man, I wish Jason were here with me!  No one's here with me.  Not even the doctor.  Who drops a bomb like that and leaves  you all alone.  Alone. Wait, I'm not alone.  God's here.  Ok, God, I have no idea what's going on right now, but You do.  I trust You.  This is exciting!  This is crazy.  Maybe this isn't really happening.  Maybe she's wrong.  There's no way I'd be this far along and they wouldn't know, is there?  Maybe that's why I was so sick last week.  Oh my goodness, I just want to tell someone what's going on!

About that time, Dr. Matekevich quickly re-entered the room.  "Come on. There's a quick break between appointments.  This is so exciting!"  And off we went, around the hallways and into the ultrasound room.  I had been in there a lot with Elissa toward the end of my first pregnancy.  Nurse Nadine remembered me and also seemed elated that we were there for a head count.  I remember saying something like, "This is crazy. I can't believe I might be finding this out and I'm here without my husband.  He'll never believe this."  That's when Dr. Matekevich said, "OH!  Today's April Fool's Day!  No one is going to believe you."  You've got to be kidding me.

It only took a few moments for Nadine to locate the baby.  "Here's one baby....and yeah, there's the sac and there's another baby!"  Oh my gosh, two babies.  Two.  Not one.  Two.  She showed me Baby A and Baby B and laughed as she typed "April Fool's Day" on the screen.  The two of them continued to talk about how exciting and great this was, and they really seemed to believe that no one would believe me.  Not having tried to pull a prank on April 1st since I was a child, I was sure they were wrong.

As I walked out of the office and turned my phone on, I could hardly wait to call Jason.  What do I say, though?  How do I tell him this huge news?  Oh, should I do it in person?  Should I try to meet him?  He's driving through the west side in about an hour after a meeting.  Maybe I should invite him home for lunch with me & Elissa on the way.  Ok, pull yourself together!  He's going to answer any second.  And then, he didn't.  It went to voicemail, at which point I awkwardly asked him to call me, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.  Jason had to be the first one to know this news, no doubt.  That meant that if I couldn't tell him somehow before I got home, I had to face my mom and make it through her goodbye without telling her the big news.  She and Elissa were playing in the office when I got home.  I remember walking in and she asked how things went.  I think I said something like, "Good.  Everything's good."  Keep it simple.  No details mean fewer things to question. She said later that she thought I had a glow about me, but assumed it was normal pregnancy glow.

With Mom out of the house, I quickly tried to call Jason again.  This time he answered and said he had just left his meeting.  I asked, "Could you come by the house for lunch with us?"  He replied, "No.  I really need to get to the office."  I continued, "Well, could you drop by for a quick bite maybe?"  He must have picked up on the tone in my voice or wondered about my persistence because his next response was, "Well, not really.  Is everything ok?"  I answered, "Yes.  I just wanted to talk to you about something."  He continued, "Well, can we talk now?  Is it something good or something bad?"  I snickered to myself, "Oh, it's good."  He said, "Well, then just tell me."  "Ok," I said.  "We're having twins."   "What?"

We both started laughing in a sort of joyous but nervous laughter.  I quickly went over the details of the appointment and assured him that this was not an April Fool's joke.  We laughed some more, said we loved each other, and he agreed that I could start calling family to let them know.  I called Mom and told her next, of course.  She hung up and called my stepbrother, who asked her if this was an April Fool's joke.  She called me back for reassurance.  I called my grandma, whose tone of voice was so skeptical and almost sounded mad at me because she was afraid I was trying to prank her.  She and my mom talked, and my mom called me again to make sure I wasn't joking.  "Mom.  Am I really the kind of person to make something like this up?  As an April Fool's joke?  Really?"  Finally, she left me alone, but I found out later she still wasn't 100% convinced that night.  How funny, God.  Not only are there twins, but You just had to let us find out on April Fool's Day, huh?

That day was by far one of the craziest and most joyful ones of our lives.  Two weeks later, Jason's hand holding mine, we found out that Baby A was a boy and Baby B was a girl.  And forevermore we will look forward to April Fool's Day.

Up, Up, and Away

It's funny how I'm always waiting for the next step to come.  When they were newborns, I couldn't wait until they could coo.  When they cooed, then I thought about rolling.  After rolling, I imagined the days when they would crawl.  Then walking and talking and tying shoes and buckling car seat belts and... there's always that next step right around the corner.  And I'm not sure why I want it to come, because in a large sense it means that they're getting closer to complete independence, that day when they don't need me for anything... but my anticipation never ceases.

When it comes to a physical challenge, Elissa faces it head-on and usually accomplishes it quickly.  The world must seem bigger and a bit more intimidating to Ethan's two-(and-a-half!)-year-old self.  He's coordinated, strong, and very capable, but it takes him longer to realize his abilities.  McKinley has recently shown that she's not going to have a problem keeping up physically with her her siblings, but she does it with such grace and timidity that she just might be the last one to start, and therefore finish.

Flash to our local Chick-fil-A playland.  The steps leading up to the world above with tunnels, rambunctious kids, and the big yellow slide has been a huge waiting time for us as parents.  From what we remember, Elissa was up the steps right around the age of 2.  Ethan and McKinley from their first CFA visit were eager to climb the first step.  And then they just stopped, smiled, and down they came.  For several months now, we've known that they are capable of climbing those steps.  If they can do the first one, then they can turn and do the rest.  The big question was, "What sort of motivator...ummm, make that bribe... is it going to take to get them to finally take the plunge and realize how fun it is up there?"

 About a week ago, we finally found Ethan's weak spot:  ice cream.  He might be "all Jeffries" but finally, there's something I can claim as my influence on his little life!  So up he went, pausing at each step to be bribed on with the promise of ice cream if he went all the way up and came down the big slide.  I thought for sure that once Ethan went, McKinley would follow.  Not so.  She sweetly hung out at the bottom and waited to smile and say hi as Ethan and Elissa did laps up the steps.  Elissa was elated to finally have her brother to play with at CFA.  I even heard her taking care of him at the top as she said something about "hey that's my brother" and led him through the tunnels.

Our next trip happened to be an unexpected lunch with my mom.  After eating, up went Elissa.  Up went Ethan.  And there stood McKinley.  I tried the ice cream bribe... unashamedly.  I just really, really wanted her to be able to enjoy the fun that her siblings were having.  It didn't work. I offered Elissa and Ethan ice cream if they could somehow talk her into going up with them.  It didn't work.  Then, Mom asked me if I'd like a piece of gum and McKinley came running.  Ah ha!  This could be it.  After being promised a piece of gum if she went up the steps, McKinley started up quickly.  Because she's scared of heights, I wasn't surprised that she stopped at the next to last step.  She seemed very unsure of it all, but Elissa and Ethan came to the rescue just in time.  Down the slide she came, and I just happened to have the camera on hand to catch her proud moment.

And again I started thinking... this is one of the crazy parts of parenting.  Those times when I know what my children are capable of doing, and I know how much fun they will have if they just try something new and seemingly difficult to them... And they just can't see it because of their own doubts and fears.  I pray that as they grow, they will trust more and more what Jason and I are telling them.  God has given us these precious years to know them, encourage and challenge them, and be there to catch them when they fall.  May fear not stand in their way of accomplishing all the wonderful things God has in store for them.  And may their trust ultimately lie in Him and His knowledge of who they are, what they can do, and how He wants to see them rise to that next step.