Beauty Redefined

I remember the first year I talked my mom into letting me be in charge of decorating the tree.  It was in college.  I went shopping and bought coordinating ornaments, cottony fake snow, and ribbons to stream down and around the tree.  It was so fun.  Every year after, I tried to think of ways to make the tree more beautiful...getting the lights in just the right places and ornaments scattered just-so around the tree.

Well, here's our tree this year.  My eye is quickly drawn to the ornaments clumped around the bottom which get increasingly sparser toward the top.  And yet, this is the most beautiful tree I've ever seen.  Ornaments keep getting taken off by little hands and put in new places.  (I won't lie.  When I'm the replacer, they get put in an empty spot toward the top, though!)  I think it took all of 5 minutes to decorate the tree this year.  Elissa, Ethan, and McKinley seemed to think they were the expert decorators -- running to the tree, attaching an ornament, and racing back for another one.

My favorite part, though, was the quick glimpse I got of each ornament as it came out of its tissue paper where it was stored last year.  Jason and I are not collectors.  If something does not have a clear use around the house, I'm quick to give it away to someone who could use it.  This has led to a very simplistic house with no clutter, and lots of trips to Goodwill over the years.  The one exception to the rule is Christmas ornaments.  Thoughtfully chosen on vacations, we love the idea of getting to pull them out once a year and enjoy the memories that came with each.  Grandma JoJo has added to our collection the past few years, getting each child an ornament.  The kids quickly caught on that some ornaments were theirs and this added to their anticipation for "next" and "more" ornaments to be unveiled.

As the popular poem about children's fingerprints all over the house reminds me, the difference between a mess and artwork is the perspective of the beholder.  I know that some day when it's back to just me & Jason pulling the ornaments out of the boxes and placing each one just-so on the tree, I'm going to long for the Christmas trees of years past that brought me smiles with each glimpse of their uneven placement.  So maybe the next ornament that gets plucked off, I'll replace amongst the beautifully crowded artwork at the bottom of the tree.

An Object in Motion

An object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force. ~Newton's First Law of Motion

There are some people who can do a day's work before 8am.  My mom is one of those.  As a kid, Saturday mornings we were at the grocery store before anyone else was there, it seemed.  We drove to town and were back at the house as the sun seemed to be coming up.  I held the door and Mom made the trips back and forth from the car to the house.  By noon, the house was clean, laundry done, and clothes ironed, including handkerchiefs to go in the back pocket of farming pants.

Wow.  Now that I'm a mom myself, I realize how crazy-high she sets the standard.  When Elissa was born, Mom told me that she would be on-call 24 hours a day if I needed anything.  Advice in the middle of the night?  She'd be just a call away.  Needing simply to take a shower without worrying about a baby crying the whole time?  She'd come by and "sacrifice" by holding Elissa for awhile.  There was one day in particular that I remember clearly needing my mom, even though I was then a mommy myself.  For the first 6 weeks of Elissa's little life, I sort of let her run the show.  She cried, I moved into action... feeding, diaper changing, rocking, pacing, feeding, singing, feeding...did I mention feeding?  I fed my sweet, sleepy baby girl every time she whimpered.  Never did I lay her down for a nap.  She would fall asleep in my arms for a catnap and then awake crying, and I assumed she was insanely somehow still hungry.  Being a first time breastfeeding mom didn't help my uncertainties any.

This day in particular, I had been up all night every couple hours feeding my Elissa girl, and then during the day it had been even more frequently.  On recommendation from a friend, I had kept a log of Elissa's eating schedule.  She had eaten 13 times in 14 hours.  THIRTEEN.  This realization occurred to me about the moment she awoke again from a catnap and I fell apart emotionally.  I hadn't taken Mom up on her offer to help very often, but I lunged for my phone, dialed, and cried out for help.  As fast as she could, she drove the 13 miles or so to our place and the moment she held Elissa the crying stopped...from me and my daughter.  Ahh... the comfort of my mother's knowing arms around me was amazing.  In that moment, I knew that I was soon going to be understanding and appreciating my mom in whole new ways because I was now a mother myself.

Mom's service and love was magnified as Ethan & McKinley's pregnancy put me on bedrest at 29 weeks, and then somehow grew even more after their births.  Most Mondays now consist of her hanging out with the kids while I run my errands for the week.  She also pitches in on whatever projects I have going on at the house.  Once Ethan & Kinley were older and I was well rested, I quickly found myself putting in later nights on Sunday so that there wouldn't be as much for Mom to try to help with the next morning.  She just works so hard, and it truly is difficult for her to sit still, so the only way I could ensure that she just hung out with the kids was to get all the work done myself before she arrived.  Elissa even picked up on it, because she saw me cleaning up toys around noon one day and said, "Is Mamaw coming over?"

I try to learn from my Mom's diligence.  Her advice one time was simple.  If I walk by and see something that needs to be done, I just do it right then.  I never realized before her comment how many times I walk by something and think about how long it's been undone or when I will try to get to it later.  As I've incorporated this idea into my days it really is amazing how much can be accomplished.  Remaining in motion, it seems, is a great way to get the most out of my day.

It's All Downhill From Here

Picture it.  8 miles into the trail, 8 to go.  Dust in your eyes.  Small trickle of blood down your shin from your pedal flipping into it as your foot slipped off.  The one person who's done the trail before, Jason, gives the words of hope:  Don't worry.  We're almost there.  It's all downhill from here.

Ahh...Encouragement.  Hope.  Relief is near.....  Well, sort of.  It is downhill for the next half mile.  Then it's back up again, and then down, and then up again ... for the last 8 miles.  At the end of the trail, Jason smiles and says, You did it!  The standard reply is along the lines of Are you kidding me?  You said it was all downhill.  You had no idea what you were talking about.

Over the past 10 years, this scenario has replayed several times.  On bike trails, on trail runs, on road rides and runs.  It only takes one such adventure with Jason to learn the trick... always anticipate the difficulty to be greater than what he says it will be.  I think his optimism comes from a heart that truly wants to be encouraging and wants to see people succeed.  If only he can cheer them on with the best possible motivation, that the end is near, then they will see what sort of feats they can really accomplish.  In actuality, it has become more of a joke because we've all learned that this isn't really the last uphill or hard push to come.

I've been thinking about how greatly this contrasts with my life with Jesus.  He tells me that It is finished.  The battle against evil was completed on the cross.  When I turn from living life my way and decide to live it instead His way, then my worst days are behind me.  Of course, this thinking requires a complete shift in my view of the world.  Bad things will happen.  Children will get sick and be hospitalized.  Loved ones will disappoint and hurt me.  God will call people home before me and I will grieve.  And these are just a few things that have already happened.  Worse things are yet to come.

But, the grace of God is that now, in the midst of all these things, nothing can separate me from His love.  Life without Him, all the uphill battle that I had to fight because I refused to surrender and follow His way, that life is behind me.  Grace.  Grace.  God's Grace.  That's what's ahead of me.  Our pastor preached on this last Sunday.  I am doing so much better than I ever deserve.  Apart from God's grace on my life through Jesus, I deserve nothing good, nothing.  But with His grace, wow, now that's a whole different point of view.  With Him, I know the end of the story.  I know that no matter what happens, He has my back.  He's watching out for my good and watching out how to grow me and change me and make me more like Him, all for His glory.   Encouragement?  Hope?  Relief?  Yes. Yes. Yes!  When life is rough and the hills keep coming, this is what I'll cling to.  This is what will push me to drive harder and not give way to self-pity or self-reliance, but instead to trust that I really do have the worst behind me...life on my own without Jesus.

Thank you, my awesome Jason, for loving me enough to encourage me to do difficult things that I know I will appreciate in the end.  And for being there to hold my hand and my heart when life gets rough.  You are a true inspiration, despite my laughter at your encouragement on the trails.

Wednesdays with JoJo

Give honor to whom honor is due.

Wonderful people who do nothing spectacular and notable by worldly definitions live their lives and often don't realize what an impact they have made.  Instead of telling them each day how special they are and what they mean to us, we wait until they're gone and then we tell everyone else how special they were.  This seems backwards, so I've decided to change the order of things with the people I love.

With only a few exceptions, every Wednesday for the past 3.5 years I have packed up my car and driven to Martinsville to visit with my grandma.  Ever since I can remember, Grandpa and Grandma were there.  I spent my days and several nights with them as a child.  They loved me, taught me, trained me, and laughed with me.  Because they owned a small country grocery store, I also was able to watch how they interacted with numbers of different people.  As I grew older and school became "in town" and life filled up with friends and sports and clubs and all the things teens fill their days with, my time with Grandpa and Grandma slimmed way down.  I thought of them often, but believed that they would always be there to catch up with when I was older and life slowed down...heh, the "wisdom" of childish thinking.

Well, my time finally came when Elissa's birth was nearing and I was daydreaming of the time I would have at home with her, without having to return to work.  Plans were quickly coming together in my mind, and included as a top priority was to start visiting Grandpa and Grandma each week.  It would be a drive, but hey, I wouldn't have a job and they were well worth it.  Turned out God had different plans, which He often does.  Elissa was born on a snowy February 9 in 2007.  On Wednesday February 14, Jason and I packed up our newborn little girl and went to the hospital to see Grandpa.  We got a quick hello in and flashed Elissa before his eyes, and then he started having a bad coughing spell and I left the room in tears to try to keep him from seeing my sadness.  Trying to balance the joy of a new daughter with the rapid loss of a beloved grandfather felt all wrong.  Why now?  Why when I was just going to get to reconnect with him?  Why didn't he get to really meet Elissa, hold her, love her, tell her all the wonderful things he told me growing up?

As Pastor Mark has since taught, God led me to not focus on the whys and instead to focus on the who.  God had a perfect plan for Grandpa.  God knew the timing of everything with everyone in our family.  God knew that Grandma would be alone and without her constant companion.  Somehow I had to trust that God was in control and his perfect plan for our lives was much, much better than what  I could have planned.  As much as that hurt to admit at the time.

Quickly, my resolve to spend time with Grandma strengthened.  My kids will know my grandmother.  They will know her compassion, kindness, gentleness...all balanced with her wonderful sense of humor and mischievousness.  They will feel her hugs and get her kisses.  They will hear her speak of her prayers for them and the goodness of following hard after Jesus.  They will laugh with her, learn from her, and ...well, they probably won't be trained by her much!  She leaves that to me mostly and just enjoys getting to be the great grandma.  :)  They will remember eating cinnamon rolls and M&Ms and sneaking sips of  Mountain Dew.  Most of all, they will know that JoJo loves Jesus, loves them, and pours out love on those around her.  And for this, I am forever grateful.

Some bitter-sweet day when God takes Grandma home to be with Him, there will be far fewer regrets in my mind.  Again I'll remind myself of the God who has plans far better than mine.  I'll pray for strength to support my mom, who will be devastated.  And I'm sure there will be too many stories to count of all the great things Grandma has done in the lives of others.  And because of Wednesdays with JoJo, my children will have stories of their own.

Thank you, God, for the blessing of a grandmother who means so much to so many.  Bless her today.  I can't wait to see her one day with all her heavenly treasures.  I'm sure You're having to expand the storehouses daily for her.  And however it works in Heaven, tell Grandpa I love him and miss him, especially on Wednesdays.

Where did you come from?

Meal times have been a constant challenge for us with Elissa. She is extremely picky and refused to try new foods that fell outside of her comfort zone of crackers, applesauce, and mac ‘n cheese. After a long time of working with her more from the obedience angle, she’s doing MUCH better. The other night after dinner, I brought out little bowls of JELLO chocolate mousse that I had made. She was very hesitant to try it, to the point that I pretty much had to force her to taste it. I was just sure that once she tasted it, she’d really enjoy it and I didn’t want her to miss out on the fun of the night’s special treat. She took her forced bite, and then quickly smudged up her nose and said, I don’t like it. I don’t want any more. I looked at Jason with a can-you-believe-she’s-really-ours sort of look and said to her, Where did you come from? Without a second’s hesitation, she replied very matter-of-factly, God. She was allowed to pick a new treat.  :)

Sun, Sand, and Renewal

Jason's grandfather passed away several years ago, and with his passing so went the summer tradition of a family vacation for the Brown/Jeffries family.  This past week, the tradition has been reinstated and I believe we found the place we'd all like to return year after year.  Muskegon, Michigan is home of the Maranatha Bible and Conference Center.  Robin & Jonathan sort of stumbled upon it online in what I believe was a total gift of God plopped down in our laps.

The condo overlooked Lake Michigan and a few short steps took us past a pool, a swing set, and onto a private, beautiful beach furnished with shaded porch swings and a couple volleyball nets.  Putt putt, zip lines, a climbing tower, tennis courts, kayaks, an indoor gym, and a scrumptious sweet shop were also available.  We didn't take in any of the church meetings or Bible studies, nor did we check the kids into the daily supervised fun activities they could participate in without us.  There's always next year, though, and with our 3-day visit we decided to just soak up the sun, the sand, and the waves...and conquer a few sand dunes while we were at it.

Jason and I tried to plan our first road trip as a family of 5 very carefully.  We decided to wake up the kids around 5 a.m. and start the drive, in hopes of a few quiet hours while they finished out their sleep.  McKinley gave us the first clue that our plan was not going to be followed when we entered her room to get her and Ethan out of bed.  She popped up, and with a split-second pause between each word, declared:  Vacation!  Swim!  Mamaw!  Hayley!  Malerie!  Although asleep before McKinley's warm welcome, Ethan didn't miss a beat:  Daddy!  Vacation!  Yeah!  Aside from feeling left out of the excitement, it cracked me up to realize that at the young age of 2, they remembered what was going on and although they didn't really have any idea what we were doing, they knew what it was called and that it should be fun.  Ah, the power we hold as parents...

So a lively 5 hours later we arrived at Maranatha.  It was as picture-perfect as Robin had said it would be.  We immediately suited up and headed for the beach.  Elissa went straight for the waves with Hayley and loved watching and feeling the water soak her feet as they sunk into the wet sand.  Ethan tromped in, too, just far enough for the waves to splash up on his ankles and then he'd squeal with delight as he saw the next one coming. 

McKinley got close to the edge and quickly sat down farther back in the sand, very content to stay dry.  By mid afternoon, she was ready to sleep.  She passed up the offer for food, grabbed Elmo, and within seconds was asleep on the couch.  How precious.

Jason and I had an awesome time playing volleyball at the beach while the kids napped.  Grandmas are the best!  I'm definitely not the player I once was, which wasn't exactly fabulous even then.  But at least this time, Jason refrained from announcing to the court his famous proclamation of my "glory days", which always just  makes me look even more stupid when I mess up.  So, much thanks, honey.  The only bad thing about playing was that it made me feel old and out of shape, and Jason majorly hurt his big toe.  That didn't stop him from doing all the activities the rest of the trip, though.

Several grocery trips supplied great food for the changing group as people who had arrived earlier in the week gradually left town.  The most delectable item for me, though, was the ice cream from the Sweet Shop on site.  We decided to walk the kids up to the shop after dinner on Thursday night as a fun "outing" for them.  Robin, Jason, Julie, Justin, and I had our minds set on some brownies at the condo and were just going to taste the kids' ice cream.  I accordingly ordered four Baby size cups of ice cream and an extra Baby size for the adults to split in case the kids didn't want to share with us.  So, either the word Baby has extremely different meanings in Michigan or they are just really, really, really generous at their Sweet Shop.  For $1.50 each we received about 3 hand-dipped scoops of ice cream.  Yes, altogether that would be 15 scoops of ice cream for 4 kids to devour and 4 adults to simply taste test.  Needless to say, we had plenty to take back and put on top of our brownies.  :)

As I rethink the trip, it's funny to me that the only things we really tried to be intentional about planning (the ride up and the ride home) are the things that went awry. We decided on Friday to let the kids stay up and skip naps, again with the vision that we would have a sleepier crew in the car.  Ethan hit melt down at about 5:00 that evening, tugging on his ear and using his incessant whiny moan for which he's famous.  After getting the kids through their dinner, we made the bad decision to let them pig out on cookies and chocolate milk so that they would be content enough to allow us a peaceful dinner ourselves.  Ethan fell asleep on my lap at the dinner table around 7:30 and it looked as if all would be well for the quiet car ride home.

About 10 minutes after our departure, a sleeping Ethan coughed a few times and then threw up, in a projectile fashion no less, about four times in a row.  Poor little guy was traumatized, I was turned around in my seat as best I could to try to "catch" it all in his blanket, Jason was taking an immediate turn to pull over, McKinley snoozed away, and Elissa was so engrossed in her fun pack from Mamaw that she didn't even really notice. 

As I scrubbed the car seat as best I could, my conversation with God went something like this: Seriously, God?  We have about 5 hours ahead of us.  Why couldn't this have happened 11 minutes ago?  Now the car smells, the car seat is wet, and I we have no idea if he's going to keep getting sick. I’ve used up nearly all the baby wipes on this first mess. Please, please, please, keep Ethan safe and get us home without another incident. Oh, yeah, and somehow if I’m supposed to be learning something through this…teach me quickly.  [No audible voice, but more just reflecting on the truths I’ve learned, it seemed like God replied: So life’s not all about you, right? It’s not about your comfort and your glory and your enjoyment. You’ve had a great vacation. Does this really change all that? Are you suddenly complaining and ungrateful at the first signs of struggle. Remember what Pastor Mark’s been teaching. Hard is hard. Hard is not bad.] Ok, God. You’re right...of course. I have a lot to be thankful for right now. Thanks for a husband who’s loving and calm in these situations and for girls who don’t even notice. And thanks for a great past few days that would have been much less fun with a sick kid. And thanks for giving me much, much more than I ever deserve. And please, no more puking. Please.

So, I’m still not really sure the lesson I was to learn. Maybe God was just getting my attention because I’d been at a place designed to be all about Him, and I hadn’t really spent much time with Him. Maybe He was teaching me that planning isn’t what it’s always all about. Maybe even on fun vacations I still need to be sure my kids' health is my priority.  Or maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t about me at all. Maybe there was someone who drove by, saw the mess we were in, and was somehow encouraged about their own bad day. One thing I do know:  No more chocolate milk and cookies before a road trip.

Happy Birthday, McKinley!

2 years old.  I suppose that makes it seem silly when I call you my baby girl. Of course, you are my youngest, by 17 minutes, right?  You make everyday fun with your giggles and grins.

• You are the most compassionate girl I know.  When we enter a room, I can almost guarantee that you will head for the person who most needs loved.  If someone is hurting or quiet you have this sixth sense that gravitates you toward them.  You sit on their lap and just snuggle in and let them enjoy your sweetness.
• You are a peacemaker, on most days.  Whenever you play with Ethan & Elissa, if a dispute arises over who gets what, you almost always give up whatever they want.  Other times, of course, you can speak very loudly about what you think you should keep.
• You are a stop-and-smell-the-flowers kind of girl.  When we take family walks, you hold my hand and stroll more than walk.  You like to point out the people and animals we pass by.  You also get this peaceful look in your eye whenever the wind blows in your face.  Maybe you know it's God giving you a sweet hello kiss.
• You have a variety of interests, so much so that it's sometimes hard to decide what gifts we can get you that you will really love.  Right now, you seem to enjoy singing and swaying to fun kids' songs.  At the same time, you like trains and trucks and blocks, too.  I'm excited to see how your interests take shape over the years.
• You have a very keen sense of what's right and wrong, but can be very decisive about which you're going to pick to do.  God's been teaching me to love you for who you are in a lot of ways and to not try to change you to make you more like me.  You're perfectly created as the little girl God wants you to be.

I pray that God continues to use your compassion and kindness to bless other people's lives.  And may He some day soon use that to point them to Jesus.  I also pray that God will give us an awesome bond as I continue seeking the best ways to train you in righteousness and obedience.  I love you, my Kinley girl.  Love, Mommy

Happy Birthday, Ethan!

2 years old.  Such a short time for so much change.  Ethan, you are my little man in so many ways.  You are already displaying qualities that men strive for, which is so encouraging.

• You are the first to lend a helping hand whenever anyone needs it.  Around the house, if I mention even to myself that I need to grab something in the other room, I turn around and you are running toward me holding it out with a big smile.  
• You have a great desire to obey that shines through on most days.  When you don't want to do something but know that you should, you get this little look in your eye and I can almost hear the battle being waged.  Thankfully by some grace of God in the lives of kids that I don't fully understand, you will usually make the good choice and obey.  
• You are a super friendly boy who says "hi" to strangers everywhere we go.  I used to think that I was a friendly person, but you've already stretched me outside of my comfort zone to new levels of openness to people... in Walmart, at the zoo, out at restaurants... you're almost always the first to greet others.  
• You have energy that runs until you drop.  When you start getting keyed up, you giggle and literally begin bouncing off the walls.  It only takes the mention of something silly or challenging (or scary to me!) and you are off to the next adventure.  Your cousin Jase simply asked if you were going to jump off the top of the slide on Papa Joe's deck into the pool, and off you jumped.
• You have a keen sense of protection and love for your family.  Elissa & McKinley are the top recipients of those affections most days.  Unfortunately, they also fall prey to the other extreme of emotions that you can dish out.  At the end of the day, though, you make sure you get a hug & kiss from both before you're content to lie down in bed.  What a sweetheart.

I love you, buddy.  I pray daily that God gives me the ability to be the best mommy you could have.  I pray for strength to let you take risks that scare me.  I pray that I learn more and more about what makes you tick so that I can train and guide your heart better and better to love Jesus and other people.  Thank you for the joy you've brought me this past year.  I'm so excited to jump into another one with you!  Love, Mommy

Loving is Doing

Note:  I absolutely love the people who attend my church.  They love Jesus and love the Bible and are truly a joy to live life among.  The inclusion of Helper #1 in this story is simply as a reminder to myself of my own sinful tendencies, and to better illuminate the actions of Helper #2 and Helper #3.  I have seen Helper #1 doing many loving things around our church and think he just had a different focus this morning.

Love Covers a Multitude of Construction... This is the theme we're trying to all live by at our church right now as the building doubles in size and as a result parking is a mess. Jason volunteered to wear a bright orange shirt and be among the many directing traffic into and out of the lot. This means he shows up about 40 minutes before the service begins and gets to feel guilty directing Little Old Lady to a back-nine spot in the grass. However, to ease the walk of Little Old Lady or anyone who needs a ride, there are shuttles buzzing all around the grounds.

I awoke Sunday morning around 5:30 to McKinley crying out. She quickly returned to sleep, but my mind started thinking about the day ahead. Suddenly, it hit me that Jason going to church early not only meant that I was getting the kids dressed, fed, and there on time by myself, but the even bigger challenge would be getting them from the car into the building... by myself. I pushed aside the thoughts and went back to sleep for those last 40 precious minutes before having to jump into the shower. (Total aside:I do some of my best thinking and praying in the shower. Maybe because my mind is so empty of all the invading thoughts that so quickly fill it after being awake for a short time.)

I thought about three or four different alternatives to getting us all in the building, and prayed for my ugly heart that wanted to say, Don't go in early and help out the church. Stay here and help me.  God quickly called out my selfishness and little view of Him, and I had the inspired thought that His plans and ways to help us that morning would be way better than anything I could come up with.  With my heart focused on things above and not myself, I joyfully kissed my husband good-bye and woke the kids with a smile and song.  We made it to the parking lot on time and began our trek with a smile.  We even talked about being on the look out for how we might be able to help someone else on our way...Heh.  That's a good one.

We made it through the temporary chip-and-seal-type area and were ready to cross the wet path of all the incoming cars when it happened.  Holding McKinley in one arm, Ethan's hand with my other, and coaxing Elissa along behind me with my voice, I felt my flip-flop stick in the mud as I tried to take a step.  I steadied myself and pulled it out with a smack and felt the mud fling up the back of my leg.  Before I could save her, Elissa cried out, Mooommmyyy!...I don't want to walk in the muuud!..  Turning around, I found her sinking in the muddy puddle that was the driveway that morning, mud already splattered up to her knees.  She had no intentions of trying to move. Ethan suddenly had the urge to be a helpful, protective, loving brother.  He released my hand and headed straight for Elissa... and the mud.  My mind quickly raced to how to save us all.  And this... all of this... brings me to today's thought:

So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.  Matthew 7:12

Enter Helper #1 walking by:  (speaking in a commanding and intelligent way)  "There are shuttles.  You just need to wait and take the shuttle.  You shouldn't be trying to walk.  Wait here for one."

Ok. I'm a very logical person.  I didn't take the shuttle in the first place because getting three kids to wait for one, climb into one, and sit still didn't seem like the best option.  Waiting right now is also not a good option. Have you really looked at us?  We're a mess and blocking traffic.  Why would I want to stay here and wait?   And finally you, Mr. Helper #1 walking by yourself very quickly into the building, aren't quite standing in my muddy flip-flops this morning, are you?

By God's grace and mercy, I simply acknowledged that taking a shuttle in the first place would have probably been a good idea.  Helper #1 was walking away so quickly, though, that I'm not sure he heard me.  Before any more sinful thoughts had time to develop in my head, God sent me a few other helpers.

Enter Helper #2:  (stepping into the mud behind Elissa and swooping her up into a seat created by his arms)  "Good morning, sweetheart.  You know, I bet if I hold you like this, you can watch your mom and I can just carry you along until we get to the building and you can get cleaned off there.  I know you don't know me, but I'm a grandpa and have some grandkids about your age.  Here, let's walk over here right next to Mom."

Enter Helper #3: (coming up from behind as we exited the flow of traffic and picking up Ethan)  "I can help out with this one.  Let me carry you, little guy, and we'll walk right here behind Mom."

Wow.  Wow.  Wow.  Talk about feeling the love of Jesus pour down over me.  Suddenly, my problems have been swept up and carried away by the love of these people.  The wives of Helpers #2 and #3 encouraged the kids as we walked with kind words and smiles. (In line with his ways, Ethan was much more content to return to holding my hand and walking, which he continued doing after cries of protest.  But the offer was so appreciated.)

This little, memorable moment was such a teachable one for me.  I can easily be just like Helper #1, sharing my useful knowledge and my should have's and expecting people to make better choices.  Or, I can choose to be like Helper #2 and Helper #3 ... like Jesus ... and step into the mud and do unto others, as I'd have them do to me.  And only by spending time with Jesus will I be able to fulfill this desire in a real and lasting way.  May my children see me model this in such a way that it is almost natural for them to do too.

Can I Get that Recipe?

No... Sorry.... There isn't really one....Right, Dalena?

And so the conversation goes. Be it the chicken corn chowder, lasagna roll-ups, or anything else really, there's never a recipe. I affectionately call her Robin, simply because Mom was given away in my vocabulary almost 31 years ago. After a weekend at her home, I'm always impressed with her hospitality, among so many other things. And here I decided to pay tribute for a few of the many.

Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world. Philippians 2:14-15

Robin lives life much like she cooks. Take what you have or have been given, and make the most of it. Don't settle for less or complain of want for more, but instead do something about it and make it great.

1. Children and grandchildren are never an interruption.
A friend of mine shared this quality about her mother-in-law who has 12 children, and I immediately thought of Robin. If you pop in and she's home, you're always welcome. She might put you to work helping with whatever's going on, but you by no means have ruined her plans or invaded on her time.

2. Take care of yourself, only so much so that you have energy to take care of everyone else.
We're not talking about that popularized "me-time" that marketing executives have convinced us we all deserve. No, this is the simple water and exercise that you need to keep healthy. In fact, my first glimpse of Robin's "me-time" took place on a family vacation. Going on a run. At noon. In July. In Houston. That's it: the "me-time" that we all deserve.

3. Always be on the lookout for practical uses of everyday objects.
Need a baby pool? How about a 6-man Coleman raft? Inflate the bottom for cushioning as you come down the slide, and when you're done, simply pull the plug to drain the water. (Yes, I will be accepting commission for these, sold at Menards, on behalf of Robin.)

As I was out running today, God just filled my mind with all the wonderful ways that I've been blessed with Robin in my life. And because He's given me such a perfect mother of my own, it just screamed out His grace that I actually get to have another mom who models such qualities for me to follow. I'm so grateful. And if you honestly do ever want the recipe, simply stop by Robin's kitchen when she's cooking and she'll show you just how to do it. And like her God-given qualities I've described, you might just walk away and still not know quite how she does it.

Love you, Robin. Thanks for being such a great model to me and the girls.

My Flower Girl

 

Mommy, can you fix my dress-up outfit now?...Sure, Elissa, let me get the needle & thread....Mommy, what's a needle? Why do you need it? What's it do?

Elissa got a colorful dress-up outfit from her cousin Hayley for her birthday. She wore it so much that the strap ripped off eventually. It's been in the "fix-it" pile for a few weeks, so it was time to get out the sewing basket. And that's when the questions started. They always say the best way to learn something is to teach it. Elissa has helped me learn so much!

Have you ever thought about what a needle is and why you need to use it? I had not. Well, Elissa, a needle makes the path for the thread and pulls it along its way, I spoke slowly as I formulated the thought in my own mind. I continued, Without the needle, the thread wouldn't have a path to follow and couldn't hold the strap to the dress. Isn't it great that we have needles? Thankfully, she seemed content. A few minutes later, she pulled the dress on and began twirling.

And I began thinking. What a great illustration of what God gives us in the Bible and His Spirit -- a guide to show us the path to go on. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 When I trust in Him and His wisdom and His ways, He will guide my path. He will show me where to go and how to get there. When I try to find my own way, it's about as useful as trying to put a piece of thread through material without a needle. It would be a frustrating, tiring, simply useless process. I need to remember the futility of leaning on my own understanding and instead trust in Him with all my heart and acknowledge Him in all my ways. Then I can twirl in His grace and enjoy the abundant life that comes from obedience.

Walking with Wise Men

He who walks with wise men, will be wise. But the companion of fools will suffer harm.
Proverbs 13:20

Setting: Elissa's room. In her hand she holds a pink plastic princess phone. In a cyclical pattern, the following may be heard...

Hi, Alivia. We're going to the park. See you there! (pause) Hi, Hayley. We're going to the park. See you there! (pause) Hi, Annalise. We're going to the park. See you there! (pause) Hi, Jensen. We're going to the park. See you there!...

Friendships evolve at such an early age, I'm realizing. It's amazing to see the attachment that Elissa has and Ethan & McKinley are beginning to form with kids their age. Be it cousins, or children of my friends, or classmates at swim lessons... they are beginning. And I quickly feel my heart crying out to God for these friendships to be places of lots of laughter and play times and chances to display all those wonderful Jesus-traits we're trying to teach them.

Oh that they will walk with wise men, as the verse says. That led me to think, well what's wise exactly? Especially at the age of 3! The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. Proverbs 1:7 ...Of course, every 3-year old despises instruction, right? So if that's so, then I guess right now my prayer is that my children will begin forming lasting friendships with children who are being taught wisdom and are under godly instruction.

Jason and I were talking the other night about how interesting it is that, as Christians, we pray these things over our children. We preach it during their teenage years. Then, as adults, many of us forget the necessity to walk with wise men. We gravitate toward those who are most like us and make life seem the easiest and most fun. And granted, we need some of those people in our lives. But, we also need the deep friendships with people who have lived longer with God and can teach us and encourage us when life's really tough. Who can speak correction into our hearts when we need to hear it and don't want to. And thankfully, by not much of our own doing at first, God has led Jason and I to those friendships. So, I guess our conversations, to only name a few, could sound something like this.

Hi, Chris...Hi, Tyler... Hi, Jim... Hi, Shari...Hi, Chrisy...Hi, Tracy... We're going to Heaven. See you there!...

Name that Tune

Disclaimer: Before the age of 27, I said the word "poop" fewer times than it will be typed in this note. That's what having kids does to you.

Elissa thrives on routine. And bedtime has become a very precise one that works well for us all. The glitch used to always be that she would brush her teeth, go potty one last time, read the Bible, pray, and then she would suddenly complain of her belly hurting and have to get up and go poop. My doctor wisely pointed out to me at a healthy-baby visit that if I thought I could control my child's eating, peeing, or pooping, then I would be sadly mistaken. Elissa's proven him right. But, we have stumbled upon something silly that works great for us.

Elissa knows now that she brushes her teeth, and then gets on the potty for 3 songs. This keeps her entertained and on the potty long enough that she realizes she needs to poop. I am usually the nominated singer, and the most popular song is Happy Birthday. (We hope the association doesn't cause her problems in the future. Ha!) Lately, she has also started making up songs. After our first round of Happy Birthday, Dear Target, Elissa said she was going to sing The Poop Song.

At this point, I must pause and insert the fact that for some reason she was not happy with my choice of PJs for her tonight. They are her ice cream sundae PJs that she normally loves. I've been trying to train her that she can't throw fits about what clothes she wears. (Something I hope will just flow peacefully into teenage years. Right??!) After much expressed sadness over the chosen PJs, and my assurance that I understood that she was sad but needed her to keep them on for tonight, she had moved on with her usual routine and seemed very happy.

Now, back to The Poop Song. Elissa begins singing, joyfully and with her silly dramatic singing face, the following melody: I love going poop, but when I'm going poop, I wish I didn't wear these PJs, because I don't like these PJs. It was so out of the blue and such a happy sounding song, that Jason and I cracked up! I had tears in my eyes,Jason was snorting he was laughing so hard, and Elissa was very proud of her silly song. I expected Jason to laugh at The Poop Song, but never thought I would!

Clean Start

The inspiration for the blogging has been developing the past few weeks. There have been numerous times that I've said, "If I were a blogger, today's title would be _______". Today happened to be such a strong sense of the perfect photo journaling opportunity that I finally decided to go with it.

Here's the quick background. As the mother of 3 kids age 3 and under car rides have become miserable. Elissa is actually pretty pleasant and independent most of the time. Ethan & McKinley, however, have become these little monsters who scream and throw down toys when handed the "wrong" one -- which usually involves a blind groping of the Cheerio-laden floor from the driver's seat. Screaming persists until that magical item or distraction can be found.

Jason and I decided yesterday that we really must take the blame for this. And it really must stop. Now. Otherwise we will have little incentive to get in the car, to be honest. We both had the same feeling. New car rule: no one gets anything handed to them from the front seat. I decided today that this was the only thing I could see working. Cold turkey.

Step one: Keep kids entertained while cleaning out car. Surprisingly, sitting in car seats that are out of the car is very entertaining. Check.

Step two: Remove every crumb and toy from car. After 20 minutes of vacuuming, check.

Step three: Convince kids that car seats are really more fun inside the car now. Check.

Step four: Announce, "Elissa, Ethan, and McKinley, choose ONE toy to take in the car for our ...RIDE (keyword that gets everyone excited and running for shoes)!"

Step five: Buckle kids in and explain where they can put their toy if they don't want to hold it, but emphasize that if it hits the floor, Mommy is NOT picking it up.

Step six: Drive to local Starbucks where Mommy gets a reward for cleaning out the car, and kids get a chance to celebrate a successful, short car trip. In the drive-thru, brag on each kid for still having toy with them.

Step seven: Return home and CELEBRATE! Everyone kept their toy, and no one yelled at Mommy!!

Step eight: Pray that they got it, and for patience, as I'm sure they haven't yet. :)

The Meaning for It All

Well, this is my first attempt at blogging or journaling or whatever it becomes. I've been a horribly negligent scrapbooker and baby bookkeeper. My vision right now is for this to become something that I can print and save and pass on to Elissa, Ethan, and McKinley some day. Something to reveal my thoughts, struggles, and desires to please God in our every day encounters. Something to bring glory to Christ.

So, for anyone else who happens upon it (other than my mom) I can almost assure you that it will be less entertaining for you. Then again, we just heard a sermon this Sunday on the fish & the loaves and how Christ can take our meager offering and turn it into something big. If there's any way that as a stay-at-home mom trying to figure out how to be full of Jesus so it splashes out on my husband, children, and everyone we encounter...if Jesus can take that and use it to reach someone somewhere to encourage them in their walk or even begin a walk with Jesus... then wow! That would be amazing!

Well, here we go...